They Don't Exist

Photo Credit:  jojo22 from morgueFile.com

Certain smells bring back memories.  For instance, my son grabbed an old cologne out of my bathroom cabinet the other day and has been wearing it on occasion.  When I smell it on him, I have to giggle a little bit.  Why?  Because when the kids were younger, we taped a label on that same cologne and called it “Monster Spray.”  We sprayed it in their rooms to keep the monsters away when they were scared.  My husband and I would constantly assure them that monsters didn’t live under their beds, but it helped them sleep more peacefully when we’d spray it.  So, for the incredible love of beautiful sleep…by golly, we did!  Speaking of monsters under beds…

They don’t exist.  Besides monsters, what exactly is “they,” you ask?  Unicorns?  Abominable snowmen?  Pots of gold at the end of rainbows?  Eyes actually bigger than anyone’s stomach?  Mermaids?  The list could go on and on and many may argue that some of these actually do exist, BUT, there is something that truly does NOT exist.  Take a wild guess what it is.

The Seven Dwarfs?  Good try.  Guess again.  Okay, I’ll tell you.  The answer is…perfect families.

Many of us have witnessed inspirational families and their uplifting stories along our journey of life.  We are touched so deeply by the ways in which they overcome some of life’s greatest challenges.  I thank God for the chance to witness this here on earth.  Sometimes we might even see families that appear to have it all together, all the time.  Perhaps, we’ve even wished to be exactly like them.  Have we ever looked at a family and been envious or jealous?  Maybe or maybe not.  The bottom line is that the families we admire and adore are not perfect.  We might think they are perfect, but if you ask these families if they are…they’ll say, “No.”

However, what I love the most is the fact that even imperfect families can still encourage us, challenge us, and motivate us.  I think that gives us all a remarkable message of hope.  Imperfect people can inspire.  Imperfect families can too.

Pope Francis has some great words about families that I’d like to share:  

“Perfect families do not exist.  This must not discourage us.  Quite the opposite.  Love is something we learn.  Love is something we live.  Love grows as it is ‘forged’ by the concrete situations which each particular family experiences.  Love is born and constantly develops amid lights and shadows.  Love can flourish in men and women who try not to make conflict the last word, but rather a new opportunity - an opportunity to seek help, an opportunity to question how we need to improve, and an opportunity to discover the God who is with us and never abandons us.  This is a great legacy that we can give to our children - a very good lesson - we make mistakes, yes; we have problems, yes.  But, we know that that is not really what counts.  We know that mistakes, problems, and conflicts are an opportunity to draw closer to others and to draw closer to God.”

Pope Francis also spoke some amazing words recently about forgiveness in the family.  Our priest, Father Bentil, shared these incredibly inspirational words with us at Mass over the weekend:

"There is no perfect family.  We do not have perfect parents.  We are not perfect.  We do not marry a perfect person or have perfect children.  We have complaints about each other.  We have deceived and disappointed each other.  Therefore, there is no healthy marriage or healthy family without the exercise of forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness is vital to our emotional health and spiritual survival.  Without forgiveness, the family becomes a theater of conflict and a bastion of grievances.  Without forgiveness, the family becomes sick.  Forgiveness sterilizes the soul, cleansing the mind, and freeing the heart.  He who doesn't forgive has no peace of mind nor communion with God.”

“Pain is a poison that intoxicates and kills.  To keep a wound in one's heart is a self-devouring and self-destructive gesture.  It is autophagy (biting of one’s own flesh).  He who doesn't forgive becomes physically, emotionally, and spiritually ill.  That's why the family must be a place of life, not of death; a territory of healing, not disease; a stage of forgiveness, not guilt.  Forgiveness brings joy where there was sorrow-produced pain; and healing, where pain caused disease.”

Forgiving is not easy, most will admit.  But, I believe that those same people will say that it’s worth it.

The existence of leprechauns, elves, Big Foot, and the Loch Ness Monster may be debatable.  However, I’m thrilled to say that the existence of perfect families is not up for debate.  Why am I thrilled by that?  Well, because that means that we all have a chance… a chance at finding gold.  What?

Let me explain.  Even though I’ve never found the gold at the end of any rainbow (and I will not admit the number of times I’ve tried looking for it), I think there is gold found in something else.  There is gold in our imperfections.  Why?  Because we have a golden opportunity to love, to inspire, to motivate, and to encourage since we are most relatable when we’re far from perfect.  People can’t relate to perfection.  Perfect is not possible and that’s okay.  We can inspire others best and most profoundly when we’re real…imperfections and all.

So, now that we know that perfect families do not exist, I encourage you to get out there and make a difference!  Any individual can be inspirational, so why not you?  Any family can be inspirational, so why not yours?

Have a wonderful week, Sunshines!

The Secret Code

Photo Credit:  SQUAIO from morgueFile.com

Over the weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a wonderful fundraising event in Port O’Connor, Texas with my husband and our good friends, Melissa and John.  The special evening was held at a beautifully breath-taking venue called The Sanctuary at Costa Grande.  The Friends of the Port O’Connor Library hosted the memorable night in an effort to raise funds to build a new library and buy new books.  I was able to visit with a number of Texas authors as well and that made it an even more amazing experience for me.  I also had the chance to pick their brains a bit about the ins and outs of publishing a book, since that is on my bucket list!  Soon, Sunshines…very soon.  I’ll keep you posted about my upcoming children’s book!

Anyway, let me tell you about one of the fun moments of the evening.  There is a long, paved driveway from the highway to the waterfront community clubhouse.  As we drove along that road, I took in all of the sights, sounds, and smells of the coast.  The palm trees swaying in the salty breeze immediately took me to my happy place.  I was all smiles as we made our way up to the closed gate.  I was smiling because I love the coast and I was also grinning because I knew something.

I could tell that my husband was wondering about that closed gate up ahead.  BUT!  I knew how to open that gate.  I knew the secret code.  Before he could even ask me, I said, “No worries.  I have the super-secret code.”  I felt extra special thinking that I was one of the select few who was privy to that information.  Melissa had texted me the code earlier that day, so I pulled it up on my phone.  As I got my fingers primed to punch in the top secret numbers, I noticed something that took the coastal wind right out of my sails.

Guess what was taped to the keypad for ALL to see?  THE CODE!  Yes, I guess I wasn’t the only one who had access to the code.  I had to laugh though because I had jokingly made such a big deal about being the only one with that confidential information.  My husband just grinned as I pushed in the very PUBLIC code and the gate opened.

You know what? There’s another code that isn’t privy to just a few people.  It’s a universal code word that will bring an incredible amount of joy to our lives if we use it.  Do you know what it is?  It’s an 8-letter-not-so-secret-code word.  The code is kindness.

There was a teaching moment over the summer in which I had the chance to encourage my daughter to practice kindness.  We were at the Frio River and my older daughter was getting ready to take a shower one evening.  She gathered her soap, lotion, pajamas, and towel and asked me to help her get the shower water at just the right temperature.  The bathroom door was closed and from the other side, I could hear her sister hollering our way, asking my daughter if she could use her tablet.

To say that my daughter is protective of certain belongings is an understatement.  She never wants her sister to mess with her tablet.  Never.  Ever.  I could see the snarl on her face and just as she opened her mouth to holler, “No!”…I put my finger to her lips and whispered, “Hey…I have an idea.  What if you surprise her and say “Yes” this time?  Wouldn’t that shock her?  Wouldn’t that act of kindness just blow her away?  Why don’t you try it?  She won’t believe it!  Just say it and see.”

After a few moments of thoughtful consideration, my daughter wiped away her scowl and said, “Yes.”  Then, I could hear my other daughter in intense disbelief on the other side of the door.  “WHAT did you say?!” she hollered back.

“I said yes,” my daughter replied with a smirky grin.  Then, we both heard my youngest daughter chatting with my mom in such a doubtful voice.  “Did she say yes?  Really?  Did she?”

I could tell that my older daughter was so proud of herself for choosing kindness in that moment.  She was beaming.  It was profound.  What happened after that made my heart sing.  When my daughter was done with her shower, she walked out to look for her sister.  Her sister gave her a gigantic hug and told her, “Thank you!”  Then, you would not believe the amount of sugary sweetness that came out of my youngest daughter’s mouth.  She offered to get her sister a drink and said they could share the blanket and pillows on the couch.  The circle of kindness went on that entire evening and it got me all teary-eyed for sure.  It was one of the most memorable evenings of sisterly love.  Believe me, I held on to every morsel of it because it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.  One act of kindness.  Just one.  See what can happen?

This brings me to a little coastal kindness story that I ran across recently:

One day a man was walking along the seashore.  He noticed that during the night many seashells and starfish had washed up on the shore.  Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man strolled for miles along the sand.

Far off in the distance, he saw a small figure dancing.  The man was joyous that someone was celebrating life in such a grand and uninhibited manner.  As he drew closer, however, it became apparent that the figure was not dancing, but repeatedly performing some act.

Approaching the small figure, the man noticed that it was a child.  The girl was methodically picking up starfish from the shore and tossing them back into the surf.  The man paused for a moment, puzzled, then asked, "Why are you throwing those starfish back into the ocean?"

"If I leave these starfish on the beach," she replied, "the sun will dry them, and they will die.  I am throwing them back into the ocean because I want them to live."

The man pondered for a moment, impressed with the child's thoughtfulness.  Then he motioned up and down the miles and miles of beach and said, "There must be millions of starfish along here!  How can you possibly expect to make a difference?"

The young girl contemplated the man's words for a moment, then she slowly leaned over, reached down, and carefully picked up another starfish from the sand.  With a gentle effort, she lobbed the starfish back out into the surf.

She turned to the man and smiled. "You may be right," she said, "but I made a difference for that one!”

Can WE make a difference for just one person?  Can we use the secret code of kindness to bring life to someone?  Can we share the code with others?  Not only do I think we can…I KNOW we can!  I’ve seen how acts of kindness bring forth the very best in people…in the one giving AND in the one receiving.

Try the secret code.  It will open countless gates.

Have a wonderful week, Sunshines!

P.S.  I think the Lord wanted in on this kindness discussion as well.  As I was driving home this evening, there was an 18-wheeler in front of me with the words “Psalm 138:8” written across the back.  I looked it up as soon as I got home.  It read, “The Lord will work out His plans for my life, for His loving kindness continues forever.  Don’t abandon me, Lord – for You made me.”

The Mousetrap

Photo Credit: DuBoix from morgueFile.com

You know, I’m always a sucker for great friend stories, so I wanted to share this one with you from my buddy over at Mikey’s Funnies:

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.  "What food might this contain?" the mouse wondered.  He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed this warning: "There is a mousetrap in the house!  There is a mousetrap in the house!"  The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me.  I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house!  There is a mousetrap in the house!"  The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.  Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house!  There is a mousetrap in the house!"  The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse.  I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down, and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap…alone.  That very night, a sound was heard throughout the house - the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.  In the darkness, she did not see it - a venomous snake whose tail was caught in the trap.  The snake bit the farmer's wife.  The farmer rushed her to the hospital, but when she returned home, she still had a fever.  Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup.

So the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.  But his wife's sickness continued.  Friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.  To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

But, alas, the farmer's wife continued to get worse and passed away.  So many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them for the funeral luncheon.

And the mouse looked upon it all, from his crack in the wall, with great sadness.

So, the next time we hear someone is facing a problem, and we think it doesn't concern us, remember…when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.  We are all involved in this journey called life.  We are in this together.  We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to support and encourage one another.

Each of us is a vital patch in another person's quilt.  Our lives are delicately quilted together for a reason.  One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend. 

Plus, you just never know when you’ll need a friend.  In order to protect the innocent, I won’t tell you the name of this particular pal, BUT just the other day, she was stuck in a bathroom stall at a church festival…without toilet paper.  Short of drip-drying for half an hour, she texted her husband from the stall and begged him to find a friend to rescue her.  I got there as fast as I could and threw a big wad of toilet paper her way.  Case in point…you truly NEVER know when you’ll need a friend.  Be extra kind and BE the friend you want to have.

I love to laugh.  I truly do.  I love the rush of joy that pulses through my body when I’m laughing.  I also enjoy making others laugh.  Did you know there was a saint who loved to laugh too?  Yep, I just found out about him the other day and his name is Saint Philip Neri.  Some people credit him with saying, “A sad saint is no saint at all!”  I like him already, don’t you? 

Upon further research, it was said that many people of his day thought there was no way for his jovial personality to be combined with an intense spirituality.  But, his very life melted that narrow view of holiness.  His prayerful life was always accompanied by a good laugh.  He also wanted others to become not less, but more human, through their striving for holiness.

Our priest, Father Bentil, is always encouraging us by saying that we are all “saints in the making” or “saints in training.”  So, if that’s the case, I think I’ll strive to be a laughing one.  I guess I can start my journey today by sharing this little giggle from Mikey:

It was a minister’s first Sunday in a new parish and he was presenting the children's message.  The sanctuary of the church had some magnificent stained glass windows, so his message centered on how each of us are called to help make up the whole picture of life (the family of God).  Like the images in the windows, it takes many little panels of glass to make the whole picture.

And then he said, "You see…each one of you is a little pane."

And then pointing to each and every child, he said, "You're a little pane.  And you're a little pane.  And you're a little pane.  And..."

It took a few moments before he realized why everyone was laughing so ridiculously hard.

Humor is a gift from God.  I thank Him for that gift daily.  Most of the time, we take ourselves far too seriously.  We should ask the Lord to help us add humor to our perspective.

Let’s sprinkle in some laughter, starting today.  And, if a friend wants to share with us about a problem, a worry, a joy, a need, or…a mousetrap, I will certainly remember to listen a bit more closely after reading the story above.  Won’t you?

Here’s to becoming more attentive, more compassionate, and less me-centered.  Won’t you join me?

Have a wonderful week, Sunshines!