|Photo Credit: bamagirl from morgueFile.com|
What a weekend! I hope everyone had a chance to relax some, as well as reflect on why we were able to enjoy a long weekend. Freedom is certainly not free. I pray for all those who have defended our country and have died for the freedoms we enjoy. We will never forget that they were someone’s son or daughter, niece or nephew, husband, wife, grandchild, loved one, or friend. Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough, but thank you nonetheless.
Along with remembering the meaning of Memorial Day, we had the opportunity to visit with family and friends and do a little fishing. If truth be told, the past few days were the most successful fishing days of my entire life…if success involves a copious quantity of hardheads and perch.
I wasn’t picky. I just wanted to catch something. Anything. I wanted to feel that tug (however tiny) at the end of my pole. I did cheat after awhile and resorted to throwing a cast net where I maxed out on shiners. I caught a mullet in my net that was almost mountable, but I digress.
I was in the moment. My brother and I were in a mini-tournament…with just the two of us. He had a sliver of dead shrimp on his hook and I had the same. We went back and forth hollering out the size of our perch. He would pretend to have caught a monster fish and would carry on and on, only to bring up a 3-incher. He’d yell, “Fish on, fish ON!!!” I did the same and it was ridiculously fun. “Get the net, get the net,” I’d scream. Our children were so proud, I’m sure. hee hee!
My ten-year-old son might have rolled his eyes a time or two, but I was too focused on watching my bobbing cork to notice. He mentioned on several occasions that he wanted to go “real fishing,” which means lures, a boat, deep water, and measurable trout or redfish.
He pouted about not being able to spend every waking moment from Friday through Monday fishing for keepers. However, there were a million boats on the water; my dad was tweaking his boat motor; it was windy; we had a family get together to attend, etc. It was just a “fish for fun” kinda weekend.
After he moped and sulked on the couch for awhile, I had a chat with him about enjoying the moment that God gives…whatever moment that may be. He had a choice to be thankful or ungrateful. He could make the most of our time at the coast or waste time being unhappy.
I’m so proud of him. After just a short period, he was helping the young ones bait their hooks and high-fiving them for their catches. My heart smiled. Even though it wasn’t exactly what he had hoped for or even the fishing weekend he had prayed for, he was grateful and made the most of it.
Sometimes, I too find myself praying for certain things…certain outcomes…certain concrete answers. I need to remember to be appreciative of the lessons learned in between, regardless if God’s timing is not the same as my timing. I need to trust in His timing.
As Matthew Kelly says, “In this age of self-reliance, many think it is madness to trust in God. But trusting in God does not mean sitting around and doing nothing.”
Many of my friends know that I have a terrible case of “white-coat-syndrome.” So, when my left ear starting bothering me about, uhem, 3 months ago, I dismissed it as allergies and was sure it would just go away. I wanted to just pray it away. However, God thought that I was brave enough to take a trip to the doctor. It had been quite some time since I had been. Years.
I honestly prefer the “I-trust-God-so-I’ll-just-sit-here-until-He-makes-this-earache-go-away” approach. The Lord wanted me to take action, however, and knew that I would grow from it. Poo. After I’d had enough of the ear discomfort, I hopped in the car one evening last week and headed to the after-hours clinic.
I had a Christian radio station on as I was getting in my zone. I asked the Lord to comfort me in my fear and anxieties about going. If you’re among the 20% of us who have white coat syndrome, then you completely understand. Lysa TerKeurst came on the radio and gave a wonderful piece of inspiration from her Proverbs 31 ministries. She said that God only gives us enough light in our darkness to see the very next step….nothing more….nothing less. One step at a time. That really resonated with me. I could take one step. Just one. I could do that.
After I arrived at the clinic, I took a pathetically long time to fill out my paperwork. Stalling. Finally, they called my name. I was kind and warned them that I was very nervous (to say the least). I almost thought about leaving, but heck, I had made it that far. “One step. Just enough light for one step,” I kept telling myself.
The precious nurse attempted to take my blood pressure three times. Error. Error. Error. My pulse rate and blood pressure were off the charts. I tried my very best to remain calm. I really did, but my blood pressure would not listen.
A reading eventually came up. Man, those cuffs are TIGHT. 176/94. Hmmm. Of course, now I’m thinking…my ear got me in here…a stroke will take me out! I tried to retain some semblance of sanity…you know…for the children. There was a sweet little boy that came in with a dog bite and wasn’t even crying. Surely, I could be tough too.
A nurse practitioner calmly came into my room. (Probably scared to death of the crazy lady with through-the-roof blood pressure in room 1 – um, that would be me.) He was very patient. With one look in my ear, he told me I needed an antibiotic and then he sent me on my way. I assured him that I regularly took my blood pressure at home and it was fine. He grinned.
Whew! I did it. I looked fear in the face and I did it! I think I need another visit, however, because my ear still isn’t quite right. Grrrr. I guess God isn’t done with this lesson. But, I do feel an eensy-teensy-weensy bit more confident after taking the first step. God didn’t abandon me. I never felt alone. I’ve found that sometimes we have to keep moving while we trust Him. That’s the tough part…to keep moving.
In my brother’s words, “Fish on!” I will try to savor the little steps and the little fish along the way. Over time, I’ll take bigger steps and heck, I might even catch bigger fish. Until then, I’ll just continue to trust in God’s plan and fish on!